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The Sacred Cow

The five worst charity jobs

May 5th, 2015

A recent study by the organisation Charity Research And Perception (C.R.A.P) has discovered the five worst jobs in the charity and not for profit sector. In no particular order we lay them out below for you in the hope that you can avoid being recruited into one of the roles.

1. Face-to-face fundraiser: There’s perhaps no more polarising employee in the charitable sector then the face-to-face street fundraiser. And although there’s no doubt that some of them would attempt to high five a widow at a funeral if there was a chance of having a direct debit form filled in, it’s still a tough job particularly if you’re waving the direct debit forms for Vets Abroad, in the middle of Winter, in Canberra

2. Charity shop workers: The charity shop used to be interesting heaps of bric-a-brac, but now they seem to be poor versions of normal shops – just like Myer. A charity shop worker now has to spend their days convincing customers that everything is an antique and that a second hand Billabong t-shirt is actually ‘vintage’ and therefore worth 15 dollars.

3. People who work for Movember: Yes it’s for a great cause and has achieved a lot, but the month long moustache truce also lulls men into a false sense that facial hair on their top lip is a good look. This causes some men, against all advice, to keep the hair lip once the truce is over. According to John Flatt-Gordon, Head of C.R.A.P Social Research, “this thing that moustaches are cool is due to a popular misconception perpetuated by hipsters, Mitchell Johnson and Movember employees. Imagine having to live with the guilt that you inflicted that onto humanity when all you wanted to do was help”. NB: Men, outside of Movember moustaches are only acceptable for pilots and old men with fishing boats.

4. Student volunteer coordinator: These poor souls have to spend their days convincing students that working for nothing will provide them with a much wider range of career paths which could lead to some work at some point in the future. And when they do have success in recruiting, they then have to smile and be full of effusive gratitude as the aforementioned student takes three times as long to complete a piece of work which ultimately needs to be redone by a paid member of staff because they made a complete hash of it.

5. Charity finance directors: Firstly they have to suffer the ignominy of everyone thinking they only work in a charity because they couldn’t get a job in one of the ‘big four’ or at a bank. Secondly, they then have to sit by and watch their old university mates, who were good enough, gleefully flick through brochures for the latest Mercedes and debate whether they should get the soft top or the multi-zone climate control option.

You have been warned.